A few weeks ago an old performing friend of ours, Gaëtan Schmid (Dogs Bollocks), popped into the Peak offices for lunch – we love doing lunch with the artists, because seeing a famous personality dribbling salad dressing down their chin reminds us all that they too are human – and to tell us more about his new show/performances piece called Rumpsteak!

Last night Angie and Jamie went through to the Kalk Bay Theatre to see for themselves just how sizzling and hot Rumpsteak really is. And this morning they were gushing about how sexy Gaëtan is on stage; how fit he is to perform as all the characters in the piece; and how they all feel much more confident ordering those universally accepted French items on menu’s around the world!

Rumpsteak, which runs Wednesdays to Saturdays at the Kalk Bay Theatre until the 29th of November, gives the audience a close-up look at what happens behind the scenes in a typical French restaurant. All the characters are performed by Gaëtan, who is a physical performer extraordinaire, under the direction of Rob van Vuuren (Twakkie) and to an awesome soundtrack that was created by James Webb.

Gaëtan says, “The show is about one dinner shift in the kitchen of a French restaurant. There are 7 kitchen staff and 6 dining room staff. It’s a one-man-show so I’m doing all the characters.” And I am sure you agree, that sometimes it hard enough just being ourselves – let alone 12 other people at the same time!

“There is no set. There are no props. I do a lot of mime and I speak only in French words. No phrases but words. Words from the restaurant menu. So even if you don’t speak English you will understand and enjoy the show. Soupe de tomate, béarnaise, mayonnaise, fillet mignon, sole, rumsteack, carpaccio, … In fact I wrote the show for an non French speaking audience. So if you don’t speak French you will enjoy the show a little bit more.”

Angie and Jamie said that the soundtrack was very impressive. And it sets the scene beautifully.

Gaëtan told me that “When I started with the creation of the show (It’s not really a play. Is it theatre? I don’t know. It’s a show.) I did the sound effects myself with my voice. A bit like a human boom box (or whatever it’s called). But I wanted to have real sound effects. (I saw something in the same vein when I was a kid on Belgian television.)

So, in the beginning, I did the movements and the sound. Then we had to film it for James, the sound designer. Because the sound had to match the gestures, the movement. But for the filming, I couldn’t do the sound effects, so the director Rob Van Vuuren (Twakkie) had to do the effects. Also a crazy guy to have as director.

And when James got the film, he said: “Wow! Great let’s keep the voice sound effects and let’s mix them with real sound.

I didn’t get it but I trusted him. Because he’s a genius. (He went to Japan, recorded some bird sounds then put speakers in trees in Grahamstown so the people in Grahamstown heard Japanese birds in their town during the festival.)

So now in Rumpsteak we have sometimes real sound sometimes vocal sound effects sometimes a crazy mix of … stuff.

The result is surprisingly good. People dig it.

So that was the fun part.

And the research too. You know, going to lots of restaurants, into their kitchen, talking to chefs, cooks, managers. Hearing their crazy stories. Lots of books. “Kitchen Confidential” is a great one.

But the less fun part was for me to go back to rehearsal once the soundtrack was finished. Now I had to match all my movements to the sound track. That was crazy. And I still had all these characters to “play”.

I was confined within the sound space.

It was a bit humbling. Going over and over again. Stop start stop start stop start. On my own, in my little room. Not what I’m used to in the theatre.

The first few time we, I did the show I lost myself a few time in that … sound space. I got lost and the track just when on and I was lost with all the effects just coming up. It was like trying to jump back on a speeding train.
Quiet exhilarating.

Man after that I earned my beer.”

So – if French menu’s have always confused; if French waiters seem arrogant; and if you’ve never figured out what was so special about French chef’s, this is the show that will make it much clearer for you. Done in an energetic and fun way – although all you have to do is just sit there and soak it all in.

But don’t let me have the last word on how great Gaëtan’s shows are. Another one of South Africa’s favourite son’s, Johan van der Walt (part time security guard, full time philosopher) had this to say: “Wragtig. Bliksem. Who now would have thought this show were possible? It pushes its envelopes and it thinks out of its box….And it proves once again what happens if we allow foreigners like Gaëtan Schmid into our country…I would encourage you to watch it on an empty stomach….”