You’re walking along with your family in tow; the wife has been nagging about new shoes; the kids are tugging at your shirt for an ice-cream; while you’re wondering whether you should’ve tipped that car-guard before you left, to avoid him sitting on your car to eat his lunch.

You’re in a zone, buffering all the invading sounds away from your thoughts, when suddenly laughter seems to be building around you, and if you’re not mistaken, directed right at you?

You check your zipper, or if you dribbled a little at your last pit-stop (damn, where that nobbler go?). You wipe your chin, and do a quick de-boegoe of your nose; but the laughter is louder, and people are now pointing at you; laughing! Spinning around, you would have found me/him, spinning around, tucked in really close, and imitating your every move…

It’s entertainment on a knife-edge - physical entertainment. It’s a great laugh, yet the danger of over-staying ones welcome could lead to being lashed-out at (because some of us are simple animals), and so it’s up to the entertainer to know when to bow-out and find a new victim. I/we survived 15 years of “fingers up the nose” performance, of getting in, playing with my prey, and leaving only the reaction behind for the audience – and I/we had a lot of fun along the way.

Being a physical entertainer, I was/am/is a number of characters over the years; some long-term, while others were either put to sleep, or handed over to others, but ultimately there was a lot of me in each of them. (Grrrrr)

The Mimic – One of my most unusual gigs was for a gentleman who was turning 80. His friends wanted him to have some fun and so thought a stripper would fire-up his naughty spirit.

But how could they do that in front of the whole family at dinner (@ the Europa in Sea point)? Answer – they hired me to imitate her.

The client and I spent and afternoon reviewing lovely ladies to find one that I could perform well with (sounds bad hey?) and that the old guy would find appealing – it was hard work, it really was. But eventually the lady we chose shone on the night and I had my work cut out for me, having never been the shadow of an undressing lady before!

I did get into a tight spot when we both tried to jiggle our goodies on the same chair after an elegant step-up, but it had a high-back for me to hang-on, so it was smooth. Just not very sexy! The old guy loved it, we were paid almost double our fee, and he passed away for few months later, still smiling I believe.

Chick-E (Engen’s Mascot) – Chick-E toured townships and cities, from Polokwane to Cape Town, promoting athletics as a healthy way of life, and entertaining young and old. Chick-E’s specialty at the Engen Summer Series was to cause me as much pain so as to get audiences of South Africa to love me! But it was all worth it!

Every year I tried break the previous years Chicken Long Jump, and would sprint my heart out towards the long-jump pit (under lots of fun-fur!). I would dive as high as I could in the air, and Chick-E would land with a very inelegant belly-flop! Winded and with a mouth-full of sand, the medics would run out with the stretcher to carry me/Chick-E off towards the cheering crowd. That’s when I’d flop off again, this time splat onto the track, and then jump up and blame the medics for drinking on the job… limping off to my change-room feeling very battered and bruised!

The Bloody Biker – I created this dirty bastard for the Cape Town Comedy Festival when I/we would go in to entertain before the shows, and during intervals. The Bloody Biker had a fetish for leather and bald heads, and was known to lick ladies apparel; belts, bags, jackets and shoes; and the odd gentleman’s bald pate. Armed with Spanish Fly, a hip-flask of petrol and leather pants (including a cameltoe) I/the Bloody Biker would be the guest that no-one invited! (That beard took days to make!)

People either loved him/me/them or they hated me/him/us, but there was always a reaction. And people laughed. A wonderful sound that warms the soul, and probably one of the biggest things I miss about performing…

There were a number of other me’s, but I/we need to just remember who remembered to remind us to remember. More soon…